Teens Making Decisions with The Power of Karma
Teens Making Decisions with The Power of Karma
By Mark Hughes, Parent & Teen Life Coach @ The Karma Institute
Today’s teenager is given greater freedoms than any other teenager that has come before them. Most have cell phones, many of them have laptops, and almost all of them demand greater freedom but don’t want the responsibility of the consequences. They live in a fast paced society where the dewey decimal system has been replaced with google.com. Their lives are immediate and therefore many of their choices are based upon immediate gratification. Because they live in that world, they move at a pace that doesn’t allow them an opportunity to reflect. Not enough time. Gotta go! Often this immediacy leads to really bad decisions and regrettable outcomes. As a result, parents like to ease their pain by making decisions for them thereby removing them from the process of thoughtful consideration. As a result, they have come to take for granted their liberties and have done little to assume the responsibility for their behavior.
The key to raising teens is empowering them to make their own decisions. That starts with helping them to understand some basic principles of Karma, the science of cause and effect. Karma is simply the understanding that all of the things that we do have a result that is the outcome of that which we do. “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” As we make decisions and engage in activities, we want to be better prepared for a higher degree of predictability with results that are more favorable. The challenge with today’s teenager is that we, as parents, don’t give them the opportunity to learn this powerful lesson. We allow our teens to escape the lessons of Karma by allowing them to escape their responsibility of personal decision making. How often do we ask our children to reflect on the moral considerations of what right and wrong actions (not values) are and what consequences can occur with decisions that don’t consider the science of Karma? The sooner our children learn the power of reflection and are able to dissect how their negative experiences were influenced by faulty decision making, the better prepared they will be for the real world once they leave home.
I know that as a parent I find it much easier to give in than to reason with my teenager’s ambition to “be on the move, entertained all the time”. I also know when I give in it is driven most of the time by my desire for them to be happy. None of us like it but we must be ready for the heat when we demand that they slow down and take a moment to make a sound decision on their own. One important step you can take as a parent is to develop family guiding principles that they agree to. These are predetermined principles that are used in making sound decisions (ie safety, harming others, moral, legal, etc.) It is extremely important that you have clearly defined principles of behavior that are mutually agreed upon. Without their “buy-in”, you have an uphill battle. Our children want boundaries; have we clearly defined them in a collective process, together? If the teen participates in the development of the guiding principles, they are more likely to adhere to them.
Encourage your teen to start with a foundation of family values that supports the notion, “how is this decision moving you towards our family values or moving you away from them?” I understand that many teens could care less about establishing family values; instead, consider how you can bridge your family values with their goals and desires. It looks like this, “by using our family values as a starting point, how does this decision move you towards your personal goals or away from them?” If you can suggest that these family principles re-enforce the notion of Karma and will offer a greater probability of success, your teen might just listen… and begin to understand how powerful Karma can be in making sound decisions in their lives.
