The Power of Expressing My Heart at Christmas

By Mark C. Hughes, Life Coach for Parents & Teens @ The Karma Institute

 

I entered this Christmas Season with ambivalence.  Ambivalent about the economy and those around me that are celebrating Christmas differently this year.  In the years gone by, the Christmas trees were decorated with more than lights and ornaments. Beneath the tree an abundance of presents represented the love each family member shared for each other.  For some, the bigger, the better.  For others, it was the number of presents that represented their degree of love.  Let’s be honest, isn’t that how it really is?  As a father, I don’t expect more than a wallet and some new socks but engrained in me is the notion that love is communicated at Christmas by the “things” wrapped inside those decorated boxes.  I have fallen victim to counting the presents to make sure that my love was evenly distributed.  I made sure that one child didn’t get an imbalance of large boxes.  I counted and recounted the money I had spent to make sure that one wouldn’t feel slighted by the inequities of their true market value.  

 

I entered this Christmas Season with empathy for those without.  For many, cutting back was a necessity not an elective.  Money is tight and the challenge to stretch the dollar to satisfy that lonely Christmas tree has left many feeling inadequate because what they can do is not enough. At least, measured by the stories of old, it isn’t enough in their minds.  My empathy took my thoughts to the base of their Christmas tree this year where the presents weren’t so abundant.  How does one replace those bundles of boxes, gift- wrapped in love?  And then I recalled the year, many years ago, when I decided I wasn’t going to “buy into” the notion that my love for my family was measured by the depth of my wallet.  That year, I sat down and wrote a letter to each family member.  I took a risk and wrote as candidly as I could about the memories we had had and the gifts I saw in each of them.  I shared how much they meant to me and how grateful I was to have them in my life.  After we had all exchanged our family gifts on that Christmas Eve (except for mine) and we had all gone to bed, I slipped the letters under their bedroom doors and quietly went to bed.  I was anxious, I must admit.  I didn’t really know how they would react.  In the morning, I was met with tears in their eyes, loving embraces that lasted longer than usual, and my sister summed it up best, “that was the best Christmas present I have ever had”.

 

I’m entering this Christmas Season with a whole new outlook.  I am not measuring my love by the presents I give and the presents I receive.  I am not counting the boxes under the tree or measuring their dimensions.  This year, different than those in the recent past, I’m going to go back to the true meaning of Christmas by sharing my love for those that mean so much to me.  The good news is that I know I don’t need to feel anxious or embarrassed because I have already experienced the beauty and The Power of Expressing My Heart at Christmas! 

This entry was posted on Monday, June 29th, 2009 at 2:24 pm and is filed under Our Community Matters. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.